It took me a lot of courage to call it quits. It was my call.. and I did it. I had to end it.. this relationship was just not healthy. People who learnt about my break up reacted in 2 ways. Some very supportive .. cited their own examples and suggested that it was probably the best thing I did. They told me that this will soon be a thing of the past and in the long run I’d be glad that I did it. As expected, some were aghast. They felt I was being stupid. Things would be ok soon.. and just abandoning him was not the right thing to do. They said I needed to think of other alternatives.
But I had made up my mind and there was no turning back. I found it very difficult and painful to move on. I’d lovely times that had always brought happiness to me. How could I be normal again?
I could not think of taking another meal.. I just wanted to quit eating altogether. I somehow managed to cope up and days passed on. I don’t know if it was the sadness .. but I fell sick.. and lost weight. In just 3 months, I lost 6 kgs.
Many people told me that I looked good. Yes, a part of me was happy but my heart was heavy.
How could people know that I was pining? It is not easy to just say goodbye and forget someone ever existed. I was tempted to get back and be in touch once in a while. But I continued to stay firm.
Last week, when I went for a wedding I saw him there. I’d no choice.. I could not just walk away. It started as a small thing.. and in the past one week.. he’s become a part of me.. nourishing me. Distance makes the heart grow fonder said Shakespeare. He’s a man who knows a woman’s heart.. Yes… my love had multiplied and I clung on to him at every possible opportunity.
It is a liberating feeling but I knew I something was not ok. So this morning I stepped on the weighing scale… and I find that I have gained 1 kg. And the bubble broke. I needed to leave him. . I cannot indulge in him anymore – Mr. White Rice.
Yes, when I see Sambar or Rasam, I will be reminded of you. But I have to move on. This affair is just not meant to be. I’m sorry.