D  … for dieting & doing

I am 5 3 ½ ft  tall (That measurement Madhavan gives to the inspector when he reports Shalini missing in Alaipayudhe) 163 cms.  The ideal weight for my height is 59 – 62 kgs.
As a child I was very skinny, gawky looking. People have asked my mom if she doesn’t feed me properly.  I was than thin. I was however not the petite kind. I had a good bone structure but was skinny. I used to eat a lot. Because of my egg allergy I could not eat bakery stuff.. but other junk food, I would gorge on.

In college I was slim (hardly any boobs but had a nice ass). I weighed around 54 kgs and I thought I looked fine. Today when I look at photos from college days I know that I was not very nice looking.

When I turned 23, I started putting on weight. I weighed 58 kilos and I felt good about my body shape. Slowly I started putting on weight. I remember I was 62 kgs when I was newly married. I was worried that I was putting on weight but since I did not look plump or bad in photos (some people commented that I look healthy only now), I did not bother to reduce my weight.

But it did not stop there. In the last 6 years, my weighing scale has seen quite a lot.  I once went upto 69 kilos and then brought it back to 59 kilos and people commented I looked like a school kid. So then I was casual about it and my weight has again shot up to 68 kilos. But try as hard as I may, I can see that it is not easy to lose weight as I am aging. Earlier just with 1 month of walking and careful eating (fruit fasts and avoiding rice) I could easily and steadily lose weight

Now, whatever I try, there is hardly any significant change.

I have tried fruit fasting, GM diet and many other diets. I never thought I would take any supplements to lose weight but I am. I am on this herba life diet where I drink 2 shakes (morning and night) and I eat lunch.  In the last one month, I have reduced 2.3 kilos. I want to lose atleast 5 kgs more.

Sometimes I ask myself why do I have to be so obsessed about weight when I should be working on my fitness, flexibility and stamina. But somehow. .. I can’t let this go. Being the lazy ass I am, I hate going for walks or doing yoga. I prefer to diet pretty well knowing that any form of dieting needs to be supported by some form of physical exercise. But still…… and I am not doing it.

Sighhh.. every night I go to bed thinking that I should do yoga in the morning and start the day. But somehow I just while away time and not do anything.

I hope I get the strength to pull myself out of this deep shit and do something about my fitness.


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