A while back, I found myself added to a whatsapp group by my friend Divya. She is married with 2 children and lives in the U.S. She was on a vacation to India at that time and I guess she wanted to make some noise. To my consternation she had invited nearly everyone in my college who had whatsapp. Nearly 20 people accepted her request and we were all part of this jolly group. Out of this 20, I may have been in touch with about 2 or 3 people in the last 10 years.
The first few days saw a lot of hellos and how are yous floating around. All of us in this group are 31 year olds. So the next un-interesting question in the group was enquiries about child/children, what school the lil angel or prince (trust me, their words) is studying in, what the hus (short for husband) was upto.
I am married. My spouse and I are volunteers in ashram. We work for an environmental project and we have decided not to have kids.
So one by one, I started getting private messages from these people (full concern) why I don’t have a child. Are my parents okay with it? Did they accept this? Am I happy with life.. etc etc, To some, if I had the time, I explained why we made this conscious decision not to have children and to others I simply gave some reply that made no sense to me or them.
In a week’s time, having gained enough knowledge about the husband, kid(s) details, they ran out of topics and guess what conversation they were having.
Hi gals. Today I made coconut chutney and idli. I am going to make sambar for lunch. What are you cooking?
I couldn’t take it anymore.
Just because whatsapp is free and you are bored not knowing how to engage yourself …. !!!
I whatsapped Divya – Kindly remove me from the college group.
She did without even asking me why. I guess she got a little miffed. I love my friend. But that does not mean I need to know what chutney somebody I don’t really care about is making to have with the dosa she is thinking of making that night.
Right? Do I lack empathy?