Winning eitherways

She stood there gazing out of the window, as she scrubbed the dishes from the previous night. There it was, his plate stealthily placed under hers as if she wouldn’t notice.  If he wants to be aloof, why can’t he wash his own plate, she grumbled.

A line of ants making way to the grapes she had soaked caught her eye. Each ant went and knocked its head against the one coming in the opposite direction. What do these ants do when they have a fight she wondered.. maybe knock the other ant extra hard on the head?! She bemused.

Suddenly she felt his arms wrap around her waist. She stiffened.

“Anu….” He murmured into her ears.

“Mm?” She replied

“Turn here.. look at me.. It’s no fun fighting with you darling” he said. She felt his hot breath on the nape of her neck.

“Fight? What fight? I’m not fighting”..she managed to say it before her voice croaked.

“I am sorry. I did not mean to hurt you …” he pleaded into her ears. “Look at me now”

Anu turned. Her eyes were moist

He stood there, so close ….smiling at her. She looked at him quizzically.

“Do you know what I want to do, right now?” he asked.

“Well, how would I ? Apparently, these days I don’t understand your mind space, your work pressure, things going on with you.. everything.. right? I am just being clingy and and emotionally demanding. Isn’t that what you told me yesterday, Varun?” Anu challenged. She felt a tear roll down her eye. Bloody hell. Stupid fucking tears, she thought. Why do you always betray me.

“Have you lost weight, dear?”  Varun asks winking at her

“What?”

“Yeah, I think you have. Earlier when I grab your hips I can feel some flesh. See ..right here..” He rubs the spot

Anu feels herself giving into his touch. He noticed she had lost weight. She is pleased and it immediately shows on her face.

“You are grinning, you know”, Varun remarks

“No. I am not. Now, leave me will you? I have got dirty paathrams to wash before we go”

“Dirty pathrams can wait. Cos, I have other plans. Let’s get dirty”  his hands slide down her back.

“Ayyee. You wish” retorts Anu, struggles out of his grip and turns her back to focus on the dishes. Oh no… Anu… Don’t give in.. she says to herself knowing she will lose this round.

“Yes. It is my wish. Come here”.. He grabs her hard and pushes her against the wall. He pins her hands with his and his mouth finds her sweet spot in the neck. He gives a quick nibble and look back up at her in the eyes, smirking

“Ohh.. Anu.. I missed you baby” murmurs Varun kissing her softly.

Has she lost this round? Well, not really!

About us

Ping! Anu lifted her phone to check. It was a WA msg from Varun- There is a woman in a saree, very slim, probably 28 waist, seems to be married, having a meal with a man weighing twice her size. But I see a lot of expressions in her face that says they are not married to each other.She is wearing a mookuthi with a shimmering stone :-

Anu touches her mookuthi. Who is he talking about she wonders.. Of course not about her, sheis in office and he is best described lanky. She guesses he is outside somewhere.. and pings him back – What expressions do you see, that make you guess they are not married? Does she look at him with adoring eyes?

Varun responds – Her eyes are planted on him, slightly slant all the time, lips are smiling and happy… She touches her hair often sometimes resting her slant head in her palm. Her eyes are not wavering one bit, I can’t honestly think of any wife gazing this way at her husband. Eventhe most loving couple will act casual and feel relaxed, I can sense her subdued excitement.

Anu can’t help laughing out loud – Yes, you got that right mister.

Varun continues – The man has now moved out of his seat to wash his hands. He returned, said something in her ears and moved to pay the bill at the cash counter. The woman broke her gaze and paid a brief look at me and checked her surroundings. Then she let herself up, went for a hand wash, checked herself in the mirror for a couple of seconds and walked away 🙂

Anu – Wow I never knew you observe people so well. It is fascinating

Varun – Something about them reminded me of us.

Anu – Yes, I know. Like how I never wanted to close my eyes when you fell sleep? Like how I can’t tear my eyes off you when I am seated across you in a coffee shop? Like how I don’t want to miss a single thing about you. As cheesy as it sounds, I know.… maybe they are like us! But what is with the waist size mister? Did you think I would just let it slip by? I really don’t appreciate observational skills of this range

Varun – Hahah I just made an educated guess. I wasn’t checking her out. Mandoos!

Anu – Good.

Morally true but practically?

I have seen posters that scream’Don’t waste food. Children are dying of hunger’ , ‘Throwing away food is like stealing it from the poor’. I feel this is such a lame concept.  Or maybe I don’t get the connection?

I simply cannot understand how me eating one more dosa instead of throwing it away is going to save children who are dying from hunger.

The idea that one should not waste food may sometimes force you to eat whatever is there whether your body wants it or not. What good can it do? I have seen my mom doing it. She would have leftovers in the fridge and while everyone is eating fresh food cooked by her she would be happy to eat reheated old food. I feel that is not at all needed. When I used to cook, I remember, I would never have the heart to throw anything and I was beginning to do that too. Storing up small quantities of rasam or chutney or eating two more mouths of Semia upma cos I made it… I was treating my body like a wastebin. I had to consciously make a change.

There are occasions when you don’t have control for example, in a restaurant you may end up ordering more food or you may not like what you have ordered, then I understand that you get the extra food packed and give it away. But it is not possible to do it every day, at home..

I feel that if you want to help the hungry, buy them a meal/fruit.

 

P.S: I live in an ashram, eat two meals a day.  I eat everything that is served on my plate.

Mi phone

So after 1.5 years of buying my phone, a few weeks back, I decided to explore features other than the beauty app. As I was fiddling, I got reminded of the times when I used to have special ringtones for all my favorite people. Now.. not even the dude gets a different ring tone. Sigh..where is the romance in life.. I thought to myself and decided that I would keep a nice song. I got a lovely piece of bgm from Aayudha Ezhuthu movie, the Michael Radhika portion (hey, one can imagine :p) and set it.See, the matter of the point is to SHOW the dude the extra efforts made no?
When I remembered, we were in the car somewhere near Ukkadam signal. I got super excited and told him to call me. Poor boy must have thought I became mental cos he gave me a weird look. So I grabbed his phone and dialled…
Me: can you hear, can you hear?
He : Enna?
Me : Listen care fully no…
He : can’t hear anything achu in this traffic.what is it?
Me : I kept a spl ring tone for you… Wait pannu.. Can you guess what song
He : No. Cant hear.
*mind voice* idhukku dhaa over imagination koodadhu
Me : So, are you going to keep a spl tone for me too?
He : Many times I don’t hear the phone ringing. Especially if im on the bike. I was actually thinking of changing my ring tone.. to the  the old, loud TRRINGG TRRIINGG
Me : I am sorry I asked. Please go back to your G.O.T ring tone 😁😁
P. S : ohh btw my phone speaker got damaged a couple of days back. All I can hear now is a GGRGRRGGGRRRrrrrrrrr in earsplitting volume. So much for Romance 😉

My tryst with chapatis

I hated chapatis as a kid. Hate is a mild word. Since I was not allowed to make a fuss/waste food /skip breakfast, I came up with a great plan.

I would wait for my mom to leave me with my plate of food. The minute I knew she was gone to finish her other chores, I would quickly go outside and throw away nearly 3/4th of the contents of the plate. My unsuspecting mom had no clue what was happening.

So one day, this happened. My friend Srivani and I used to take the bus together to school. She would park her 2-wheeler at my place and then we would go. That morning she was there looking visibly upset. Her school bag had given away and she didn’t know what to do. How to carry books?

Suddenly my mom says “Achu has an extra bag .. wait I will fetch it for you. Before I could realize what was happening, my Mom walked into my room, opened my wardrobe and took out my bag.

She opened it and some white powdered stuff started falling out of the bag …..Powdered chapattis!!!

I watched everything blur around me.

You see, on those days where my mom was hovering near me and I didn’t find the perfect opportunity to fling chapatis into the next compound, I would stash it in this bag. In the evening, I would anyways be home before my mom and I’d manage to throw it away. Somehow I had forgotten about the chapattis lying in this bag and ants had gotten to it.

I got heavy scoldings in front of my friend. My mom couldn’t believe the extent of my soora-thanam (grossness??). After severe grilling and honest confessions, she went on to discover more chapatis in the loft also.

From then on, on the days she made chapatis for breakfast, I got dosas 🙂

Don’t angry me – 2

The dude for gets to do something and I am put in an awkward situation. Since he is away, I vent my feeling in a strongly worded SMS.   He calls me 2 hours later

He:  hey, so what happened? I saw ‘some’ msg

Me: Didn’t you read the message?  Don’t you understand tamil?

He: Ya, that’s what.  What happened?

Me: Nothing. I somehow managed the situation

He: Oh ok good.

Me: Cant you alteast say you are sorry?

He: Sorry

Me: You know you also forgot one more thing today

He: I gotta go. I am still in the meeting

Arrrrgggghhh..

Hair troubles

Bored with the hair you have been growing (?) for 8 long months, you feel it is time for a trendy hair cut. You go to the parlour and the talk to the stylist.

Me : Hi.. I want a hair cut…emmm a layer cut.

The stylist examines your hair and gives you a wretched look.

She : Your hair is dry, thin and has a lot of split ends

Me: (mind voice) Aaaarrghh…Like I didn’t know all that.

She: How short you want it cut?

You wince when you hear the word*short*. You hurriedly explain to her

Me: My hair grows verrrry slowly . It took me almost a year to grow it to this length. So just trim it a little. Don’t reduce the length

She: (Exasperated tone) This ok?

In the mirror you can see where she is holding.. about 3 cms and you smile at her.

She then proceeds… gathering your hair at the top of your head. . dividing it into sections.. scissors going snip snap, snip snap… after many more clipping and unclipping, partitioning and spraying she finishes it. It takes a good 40 minutes. She brings a large mirror to show you the effect.

OMG. It is so short. Did she confuse 3 cms with 3 inches? Ohhhh nooooo what did i do?

Sigh..  but it is ok. It looks nice…and after all hair .. it will grow.

You walk out of the parlour feeling good about life in general and then you meet the husband. He of course does not say anything. So you run your fingers through the hair and toss it slightly and ask

“So, did you see.. my hair cut? Nice ah?

“Oh.. really? You cut your hair? I don’t see the difference.

That…and that is when you think that you should just go get a mottai (tonsure) done.

Maybe then the difference will be noticed.

H…for happy vishu

Tomorrow is Vishu.

It is a happy day for every mallu child and (silly) grownup like me. So what happens during Vishu?

• There will be Vishukkani
• You get to wear new clothes
• You get to eat awesome Sadhya (feast) on a banana leaf : 26 items including 2 payasams
• You get Kaineettam from elders

Let me tell you about the Vishukkani which is highlight this festival. Kani literally means “that which is seen first”. So it is very important that on the day of Vishu, your kani is the picture of God. You don’t by mistake also see your face in the mirror as soon as you open your eyes. The previous night, usually the grandma/mother in the family will arrange the items for Kani. There will be a photo/statue of Krishna or Guruvayoorappan in front of the mirror. Then in an uruli like pot, fruits will be kept. There will also be flowers, new clothes, wad of currency notes and some gold. This is just basic things done in my house. In traditional houses, there are half a dozen more details that they follow which I have no clue about.

On the day of Vishu, early morning before Surya Bhagavan can say good morning, during Brahmamuhurtham (between 3 AM to 5 AM) the mother will come and wake up each member of the family. She will cover your eyes and lead you to the room where these items are kept. She would have already lit the lamp and you are expected to open your eyes only after she says, you behold the arrangements made and then you pray.

The scent of flowers, burning incense, ripe mangoes, golden cucumber and ripe jack fruit , the quietness of the early morning can give you goosebumps. As much as I hate any ritual, that feeling when I stand in the room in the darkness with just the light from the lamp and the fragrance, it is priceless. I feel so vulnerable and I must confess I love it.

Another great aspect of Vishu is the Kaineettam. Distribution of wealth. I was told that highly affluent families will not only give money to their children also to their neighbours and perhaps the whole village. Well, in my family, only mother Mary gives me money. My Dad conveniently does not believe or follow any traditions so I never got any paisa from him. Sadly for me, my birthday falls on the last week on March and Vishu is always in the 2nd week of April. There is less than one month gap and people are not very generous.

I also believe that they think I am all grown up now and will feel embarrassed to receive gifts. So these days I don’t get anything for my birthday or for Vishu. Seriously people, how can you stop following traditions? Also, is there a possibility to change your birthday to some other month which is not so close to Vishu?

On that note, I wish you all a happy Vishu 🙂

G ..for geography

I was very good at Studies and always scored good marks in school. But I was not interested in certain aspects of the syllabus. For example, diagrams required in the Science subject. I remember, in my 10^th std, I had written some test in Chemistry and when I got my corrected paper, I saw that the teacher had circled it  and reduced 1 mark. I did not understand what was wrong till my friend pointed out that the burette was inside the conical flask which was suspended in the air.There was half an inch gap between where the flask actually was and the table on which it was supposed to rest. Lol!

The next area that never interested me was Geography. I liked history and civics more.. geography theory part was okay but I hated it when my teacher asked us to mark the rivers and places on the map.  I never attempted to learn anything more than what was required. Only the names of rivers, countries suggested at the back of my text book, I knew.

So after my 10th std board exams – social studies paper, in the evening after my mom got home from work, she took my question paper and was leafing through it.

Mom : Achu, how did you do?

Me : Okay, as usual. The map was a little tough.

You see, my mom’s favourite subject next to mathematics was geography. Seems she and her father used to play some game where they had to locate places on the atlas. I am glad my father did not torture me like that. Coming back to my story, she saw the list of places given in the question paper ..

Mom: What was difficult? (Obviously she knew everything).

Me: I was not sure where to mark West Indies.

Mom: **gasps in disbelief ** How can you not know?? Where did you mark it ?

Me : I first thought its near Cuba. Then I thought it must be that small cluster below Australia.

Her jaw just dropped. I had mark NZ as West Indies. 😀 😀

I scored a 95 in that subject. But till date my mom cannot forgive me for marking West Indies there.

Ok.. lemme go quickly confirm once more where it is before you ask me any more questions.

 

F … for Frog

This happened when I was 8 or 9 years old.

In my old house, when it used to rain, the rain water would get collected in the terrace. The drain outlet was blocked by a piece of cloth. After the rains, my mom or dad would go to the terrace and remove this obstruction and all the water would fall into a huge drum through the pipe. If it rained heavily, then the drum would overflow (which was rare). Most time the drum would be quarter or half filled with this water which my mom would use to water her garden in the days to follow.

The area near the drum would always be slushy. Cos of the water dripping and all that. I don’t remember how it came to my knowledge about the presence of frogs underneath the drum. I am not the kind to venture into the garden and explore. So I am guessing my mom must have passed on this information to inspire me to do something other than being cooped up in my room.

So I did go to see what was there. I saw 2 plump frogs sitting there very still, not at all scared of the intruder (me). I  was offended by this lack of respect. I wanted them to move. Quite fearless, I went inside my room, discovered a metal curtain rod and brought it outside and used it to poke the frog gently. No, no, no …trust me when I say I was not a cruel person. I was just trying to get them to move their fatty ass. But the huge frogs just stayed. I did not want to hurt them so after a couple of attempts I left it.

I remember doing this for a couple of days.  I remember the texture of the skin, the feel I got when the rod touched the frogs..every single thing.  But the frogs just remained there.

Then one day,  my mom came to know that I was doing this. That’s when she lied to me. She told me that if a frog pisses on you, it can cause warts.

That’s when I decided it was time to find another hobby.